1, 2, Sound Off, 3, 4

Does anybody else have that one person at their job who is insanely good at their job but at the same time finds a way to be an insane pain in the ass? Yes, I'm sure we've all been there: that account executive who acts like he's God's gift to marketing, the receptionist who never tranfers your calls but everyone else seems to get every single one, or even the boss who knows you're a year and a half overdue on your raise but he's gonna make you keep driving around in that Ford Pinto anyway. Wherever we go, we meet a douchebag, and of course, now that I'm working, I have to suffer my share as well.
Have you guys ever dealt with the paging system? "Paging Dr. Ross, paging Dr. Ross." Yeah, I've got one of those insufferable fuckers here too. It's gotten so pissy annoying that I've been left with no choice but to stick my buds in my ears and turn my music just high enough to drown them out. (Pink- Most Girls)
Which means that the receptionist must page me again. And again. And again, until someone looks over my computer and realizes that I'm not even in the same galaxy. I thought our receptionist was cool up until I had to start covering her. I work upstairs in the administrative department, basically performing essential record keeping functions for the company. But my dual responsibilty is to cover the front desk on our RC's break. Fine, whatever.
It didn't become a problem until homegirl started taking "nigga breaks," (See Kings of Comedy) and cutting into my time. You see, I take my break when she returns from her own. But there are still two full hours left in the day at that point. (If you're advanced, you'll see where I'm going with this, if not, keep reading)
The Battle Royale began when I noticed that she was calling me at least twice a day to cover her for a "quick bathroom break" or "to warm up my coffee/food." Now I don't undestand how you could possibly still have food/coffe at 12 when your break is at one, but whatever. I bit the bullet and went on downstairs.
As you all know, I get annoyed quickly. I would get down there and oftentimes, a quick bathroom break would be combined with reheating foodstuffs, which would then lead to me answering phones for like fifteen minutes. When I first got there and there wasn't shit for me to do, this was acceptable. Now that I have a crapload on an almost daily basis, it's not so okay anymore.
So I started sending her calls straight to voicemail. I would let them accumulate, then check and erase my messages at the end of the day. That didn't stop anything, as the calls continued. I resorted to putting my phone on DND and that seemed to staunch the flow for a little bit. Ha. How wrong was I?
When she realized that I was no longer answering my phone, she began to call my supervisor, who would confirm that I was indeed at my desk, WORKING, but I would be down to cover for he rin a few minutes. That's shortly after I started putting in my headphones (Aaliyah & DMX- Back In One Piece) to drown her out.
I started to get extremely pissed after her first offense, which was strolling in here an entire half hour after her (extended!!) break had been completed. She had gone for a cosmetic consultation and hadn't even seen the doctor until she had ten minutes left on her break. So basically, I was covering her for 2 hours, and was late to lunch and had to spend the rest of the afternoon playing catch-up. The second offense came about two weeks later, aka, Tuesday.
I had actually bothered to answer the page this time, but only because I had just returned from the restroom myself and couldn't pretend I hadn't heard her. She asks me to cover her for another "quick bathroom break." (Keep in mind what I said earlier, and her break begins at 1pm.)
This call came at 12:20, and I made sure it took me a full five minutes to get down there so I could cool off before entering the reception area. (You've been holding it all fucking day, you mean to tell me another thirty minutes until your break is gonna kill you??) My issue is this: Why did you return from your "QBB" a full twenty-five minutes later? Basically, you just wasted a half-hour of my time. Which is totally unfair because you're now wasting my time. You can't come upstairs and cover me when I want a break!
Besides the minor smaller infractions of continuously returning from her break 5-10 minutes late, I have given up all hope of actually having a civil working relationship with the broad. I've decided to keep it curt and to the point from now on, because folks take advantage of you when you're kind. I figured, okay, yeah, give her a break, she's been here since eight. Then I found out that she receives an additional 30 minute break of her choosing because she works longer hours. Yeah, fuck that.